Key

Sunday, November 13, 2005

NaNoKey18

Time to visit dragons
brilliant scales shining bright
to light the way through
coming night
with glowing eyes
and great talons
they capture and hold
great pearls
filled with wisdom...

Winter's breath
freezes into clouds
of cold dreamlike mist
burned away with
green dragon fire
which warms
with growing tendrils
of flaming light

Dragon, Dragon burning bright*
light our way through foggy nights
let love's light burn away the frights
and divine in spirit i on lights...

"ref; "Tyger, Tyger" by was it Robert Frost?

*********

"Howdy Loki," I said offering him a drag off my joint. We sat on the grass in the shade of a giant tree on the top off a hill gazing at distant blue mountains on a bright sunny day.

"Don't mind if I do, young 'un," said the beautiful man, lithe with silken waves of blond hair lightly teasing his shoulders. He appeared physically to be in his early twenties, but had an ageless aura--particularly in his big magical eyes where patterns wove into infinite spiral patterns in a chaotic pooling--like a three-dimensional liquid globe of Mendlsbrot's Equation in it's crazy swirly paisley radiance of fractalled colour.

"Mendlebrot's Equation is where aesthetics, mysticality, and pure physical sceintific math meet in harmonious union. It swirls infinitely outward and inward in beautiful spiraling, snowflake like pattern of fractals. A similar case for me emotionally is the double helix of DNA--a ladder to knowledge past present and future, a key; and in the spiralling majesty of the galaxies of inner and outer space."

"Who are you speaking to?" asked Loki.

"Whoever wants to listen," I said.

"Way to call the Zen," laughed Loki, handing me back the joint.

"Mendlebrot's Equation, (is that the proper word for it?), remind's me of the pattern in Roger Zelazney's Amber novels. In this series, the primary reality is the world of Amber, and all other realities (of which there are an infinite variety) are considered shadows of Amber. The royal bloodline of Amber are all able to shift realities at will. They initially awaken this inherited ability by a dangerous journey through a pattern set down by the first of their line."

"Wouldn't it be more fun to walk the pattern than to just talk about it?" he asked, catching my eyes in his.

I felt the tingle and grinned; "I suppose it would. Where to go first?"

"You were mentioning the realm of the Egyptian Gods before." His eyes twinkled.

"True. You just want to meet Isis, don't you?" I teased.

"Isn't that what you want to do?" He said innocently.

"Not for the reason you might, though." I laughed.

"There are many layers to the onion, as you like to say," He stuck out that long tongue of his.

"Put that thing away, you bad boy!" I scolded playfully.

Loki laughed gleefully and jumped up to the tree above to swing on a branch. He swung up to crouch on a branch before leaping to a higher limb, chittering like a monkey.

I stood up and let my great feathered wings unfold. I don't usually bother with wings when I fly, but I was enjoying the stretch in my back--kind of uplifting, really.

Loki plopped down beside me, a golden apple in his hand.

"Going angelic are we?" he asked as Black and red shimmering dragon wings unfolded from his back. His pointy ears grew, his eyes shimmered red, and he smiled wide to reveal fangs.

I laughed, shook my head, and stuck out my now extra-long tongue.

Loki laugh joyfully and 3 demon horns popped up on his head. He still looked pretty cute, though. His legs became furred with cloven hooves, the wings disappeared, and suddenly he was Loki the dancing satyr complete with pan pipes. I laughed and clapped my hands and began to dance with him, garbed in a flowing white robe with my white downy wings. The sounds of lute and drum mingled with the pipes in an celtic-like frolic.

As the tune fades to conclusion, I am holding the apple, staring into the golden light of its being, into it molecular structure, into the double helix of its DNA. I see the photons spiralling off the shining surface and let myself spin with them into the past on a spiral ladder.

I open my eyes and I am dancing to hypnotic vibrations of the snake charmer's pipe. I dance with two snakes, ane they coil slowing upward in their magical dance.

"You had forgotten this aspect of me, my daughter," said Isis in her deep fragrantly accented voice, as she entered into my awareness. I continued to relax into the spiral dance. "I am knowledge of nature for nature is what is--I am magic because the knowledge brings magic. And I'm mother for I protect that which I love, and you are my daughter as are all my children as all are one." A tear slipped down her cheek as she touched my cheek. Her fingers gently slid to my chin and she lifted my face to look into her eyes: Brown and gold, earth and light, and from them the early life to evolve into who we are--that is magic and a knowledge that is with us on many levels.

Suddenly I'm no longer with the snakes but am spinning away. Isis reaches out from the light beyond the darkness, and is gone.

I sit back down under the tree. Loki sits beside me and hands me back the joint.

"Never quite goes as planned, huh?"

"But isn't that the fun of it?"

I stretch out to look at the sky, and blending little bits of clour into the clouds, swirling it about
with my finger. I reach over to pet Tyger who is purring happily as she munch the now catnip-scented grass.

My belly grumbled hungrily. "Oh bother," I thought.

"You could always eat the apple," Loki said offering it to me.

"Somehow I don't think that could fill me up. Now, a fairly-trade organic chocolate apple,
mmmmmmm; or, actually I do have RL apples in the fridge. My kids picked them in the valley. I think I'll go get one."

Loki lay back down, chuckling; and my big stoned kitty giggled and rolled down the hill.

*********

"Om Mata Kali, Om Mata Durga, Kali, Durga, Om Namaste," I chanted/sang with my eyes closed.

Into the blackness I fallInto the nothing from which lightis born and dies and is rebornin new patterns from the oldInto the everything, forever beyond,forever one.

I am grateful to W!zard for reflecting back to me that which now reminds me: "When nothing matters, all that matters is love."

It all boils down to the same cosmic goop. Mystics of all religions say basically the same stuff.** All is one is all; peace, love, unity...and practical living tips like love, accept, and forgive others, don't judge or kill or lie or steal; be nice to people--you know all those wacky revolutionary nut-bar ideas. It's common sense to get along--working collective is much more effective. Collaboration, cooperation--it's social evolution--go check out behaviour stuff on monkies! Of course, anyone that's reading this is probably of like mind, so I guess it's just directed at my inner demonized version of certain political/socio/"religio"-orientations (okay, I'm referring to the current American administration)--I do try to be open-minded and non-judgemental. I just don't like it when people are mean to each other. It pisses me off--I get a little uppity about bullies. In every bible they thump are wise words attributed to Jesus and friends (words similar in nature to smart living tips in most religions/philosophies), saying stuff like "Thou shalt not kill," "Judge not least ye shall be judged," "Love thy neighbour," and stuff about forgiveness and tolerance. *sigh*

I get a bit frustrated. It just doesn't make sense. Yet it does. Because people learn what they are taught...but the good news is, there's always hope as we never stop learning. By being nice to others, they learn the joys and rewards of kindness. Thus, we must love our "enemies," remembering to put ourselves in their place (use our empathy), forgive them and reach out with loving kindness. Individuals learn love and acceptance from each other. Be at peace, and you promote peace. Be love, and you promote love. Follow your intention.

********
********
(note to self: fix tenses--ya keep jumping from past to present tenses--guess it happens when I'm in the moment or remembering :-P)*reference**ref. Teaching of the Mystics and out from there for quotes!!!)

*********

Power is a drug, an addiction...
Destroying outward
destroys one's soul.
through empathy I see me in them
and so see my undoing
in addictive behaviours
and how destroying inward
can destroy outward
in the way loving outward
amplifies well-being
healing
wellness

*********
I feel shame and self-doubt
consuming me
from the inside out
fueling the actions
that fuel the feelings
in a vicious cycle
I hunger for release
from the fear and pain
I cling to rays of light
shining from the flashlights
of my kind friends

Addiction to sloth
and avoidance?
The mess,
the grass...
(without having ever meant to in the beginning,
my spirit name has taken on sinister undertones...
it really began with grass and the singing grasshoppers...
it was innocent in that moment...
innocence become irony)
both leave me a quivering heap
of shame

when I'm not avoiding the whole thing...

what the hell am I teaching my children???!!!

mother failings cut down deep with their truth

*********

"Inner Demons are behaviour patterns developed from a combination of inerited tendencies and learned defense mechanisms."

"Balanced objectivist viewpoints are comforting, grounding, aren't they?"

"Understand your enemy."

"Enemy suggests other, and we are all one. We reflect each other--empathy is key."

"Empathy for self--but what if empathy becomes an enablement for said Inner Demons?"

"That's where the balance comes in..."

"Knowing and doing become separated when one is overwhelmed with emotions--this is why
knowledge must find a sureness devoid of emotions and meet with will to take charge of the situation."

"Oh, bother."

"Hard to do when you're lazy--when it's working, I don't care so much (Inner Demon: Apathy);
when it's not working, I feel so weak and helpless..."

"Love is realizing and doing what's best for one's self regardless."

The Web weaves...

(Which is Loki, which is me--all is one is all--be one with God/dess.)

*********

metaphorical
spasms of truth and questions
separations join

********

One can not love a person
for their actions alone
or for their lack there of...
Love is not about what you do
or do not...
Love is unconditional
and infinite...
It is a magical state of being...
But it is a highly sensitive one
which opens doors
to rooms of mirrors
and one must learn
kindness for self
as kindness to others...
how you want others to treat you
is how you must also treat yourself...

Why is this so challenging?
To love yourself despite the flaws,
the mistakes,
the fallicies...
What of the enablement question?

Loving is not enabling
it is supporting through ups and downs
and trying your best
to help in the best way
you know how...

Love is organic
Love is life
Love is one

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