NanoKey--catching up on posts

When something bothers you, you generally want to make it stop.
Advancement means getting better, improving, moving forward. We all move
forward in linear time no matter that time's a spiral of continual
movement. Time is energy. The changing from that to this which you can
never narrow down in any dimension no more that you can isolate a
thought--the continual IS.

Choose our reality? Just be it. Cause it is what it is.

My reality incorporates infinite separate but connected beings. I feel a
great need to serve a higher purpose. I always have. When I feel like I'm
failing at that, I sink into shame and despair--or do I fail when I
sink? When I feel it, I am it and serve my destiny on a the crest of the
wave instead of drowning in it. Tornadoes, tsunamis, and volcanoes always
fascinated me as embodiments of nature's balancing force. The great
balance shifts as it always has and always will.

In the middle of life's teeter totter is where we too often forget to look
or recognize the blending and surpassing of all into something more. Love.
God. All. Something more than the sum of the infinite parts is love, and
that make it the divine. It's a feeling and a being and an experience that
anchors (yet the anchor comes along for the ride, ever following, always
there, connecting, being felt, being known.) Those that do not know love
are the most damaged. Love is reassurance.

We are all babes fresh from the womb of god. We all get scared of being
disconnected in life or in death. Love is the ultimate connection. It
offers peace in self and in life, assurance of continuity, pure joy and
bliss and hope--true unconditional love is there as a constant. It is the
source of the greatest magics and goals; prophets and hero.

Love is real.

A few days ago, I read some of my writing to my husband and the kids were
listening more than I thought they would. As a result, they heard my
mention of seeing a shadow figure of a man wearing a fedora when I was
quite young. My 5-year-old son, Heimdall, wanted me to go to the bathroom with him because he was scared of the shadow man. Heimdall bore a wooden staff--green, silver-tipped--that he called his sword. He gave it to me to fight the shadow man.

At first I insisted that it was likely just a trick of my imagination,
that it was just the way the shadows looked through my eyes combined with
my thoughts.

Such an explanation works well for Amber Moon who is now 7. She plans to
be a bug scientist when she grows up. She knows and cares for nature, and
is fabulously creative. She is kind, and is a great runner. We took her to
a Mik Maq Elder when she was a baby to find her spirit name: Rainbow Wind
is her spirit name now, and she will be Walks in Beauty when she reaches
her Moon Time. The evening after we found out I was pregnant with her,
Shane was outside gazing at the full moon and thanking the Goddess. As he
did so, a falling star shot past the moon, splitting in two half way past. Her other middle names are Laura and Marie--the inherited middle names of
her grandmothers. Amber, the fossilized tree resin, is sacred to both
Shane and I; and in many ways represents our loving union.

Heimdall is 5 and is amazing at video games like Spyro that involve great
hand-eye coordination. He's reknowned for his easy-going nature, wise
observations, and contagious laughter. He was named after a God and pretty
much knows he is one. He responds well to honourable compromise. He was
named after the guardian of the Bifrost (Rainbow) Bridge leading to the
home of the Norse Gods. His other middle names are Roderick, inherited
from his grandfather on Shane's side; and Eagle, because of all the wondrous eagle sightings during my pregnancy with him. I saw an eagle at the lake for the first and only time. He was on a rock hunting for fish. I had been meditating on my son's name(s) to be. I said to the eagle, alright, I get the hint. We'll row out. If you leave us a feather, we'll put "Eagle" in our son's name. So we rowed out, and there was a cute little feather floating right beside the rock.

I did a candle ritual with my sacred egg stone to call in both of their spirits before their conceptions. They are both clever and charismatic and beautiful and sensitive.

As to the shadow man, we ended up playing with him. I used the staff to
have a gentle play duel with him, and then invited him to sit down and
drink tea. Amber brought me a glass of tea she made with cold water and
catnip.

Then I spotted two envelopes on the floor. I had used them in a sculptural collage piece sometime in the past year or so: I glued photos up the sides of a wooden cd stand--images of the past and of creations arranged in a totempole-like pattern. Included were photos of my artwork (some abstract paintings, a collage of natural treasures both gifted and found), and one of Mary Walsh (famous Canadian comic) and I (we were doing an Oxfam Make Trade Fair event where we sold cups of coffee for two cents because that's all the farmers get for it!). On the other side, the pictures are of of natures wonders, most of them images frozen in times a decade or two past--a fawn lying curled up in tall green grass with his mother in the background at the Upper Clements Wildlife Park; pink and white water lillies on green pads floating on ripples of light on indigo water taken at the Annapolis Royal Historic Gardens when I was little.

On top of this contemporary totempole/cd-rack, I placed stones and small sentimental treasures. Instead of cd's, the racks held envelopes with their tongues out with messages scribbled on them. I found these two envelopes, now separated from the cd rack, on the floor this evening:

"My firewall opposite
My waterfall connected by
infinite detail"

"Just call me Will,
Cause if we will
we do.
'She-Willy-Doo'"

"Imagery to access the subconcious"
not sure if that's a direct quote
or paraphrase from those builders...

Exactly what I've been talking about--more direct and holistic communication from and between the divine voices of our subconscious withins--the intuituion that rides the waves of will into inspirational destinies. Marriage within (our brains, our hearts, our souls, our bodies) of the two and the two of the two and so on for a period of Infinity plus One. Our entire body is a coupling of couplings, pairs of pairs boiling down to the double helix. Interconnected pairs seeking to ever become more unified by growing more efficient means of communication on all levels of existence from the core of our DNA make-up and the atomic universe within, to the limit as it goes to the infinite reaches of space.

Love,
me

*********

Love
me

How many times must it be said?
As many as it is asked.
The lesson would not be without the catalyst.

Writing in a state of no-mind is a funny challenge---much like the
aforementioned Sisyphus and his rock.
But if he ever reached the top, and the rock stopped rolling, what would
he do then? Would he get bored? Maybe he could keep it at the to, but not
without staying there holding it. Letting it roll back down helps keeping
it interesting. Maybe the gods just wanted to keep him busy to keep him
out of their hair. Of course, in the process of pushing the boulder up the
hill so much, Sisyphus must achieve unimaginable strength of body and
mind.

Sisyphus reminds me a bit of Loki in his chains.

The process changes you as does all in this ever-shifting reality.

My son has a flashlight which is his sword--he's a hero. My daughter has
created a full costume--including tall pointy hat--with tape and newspapers. She's a magical animal queen in the forest. The family is going out now to fetch rats for our hungry snake, and I get to stay home and write!

I was just explaining to Shane how much I'd like for him to be supportive
and avoid applying pressure or guilt trips when he wants me to be with him
and the kids and I want to get my writing done--I crave alone time to concentrate for a few hours on my wonderful rock. By Saturday each week, I'm starved for it, and Shane often works weekends. I explained to him that his loving support for my writing would result in my gratitude knowing no bounds--and he's been craving some gratitude lately...

symbols
holistic emotional brain
untied with
linear reasoning brain
feelingunited with
thought

Gandhi said somthing about how peace is when what you think, feel, do, and say are in harmony.

Silhouetted bythe luminous moon,
Artemis calls
to the mother wolf

Into Temperance I leap
to dance in the steam
of the fire and ice
harmonizing...

To rest
on destiny's
bridge

Neuronic spiders
weaving beautiful webs
of light
to catch and feed on
inspiration
to grow and build
grand neuro-symphonies

love counters
contains
fuels
desire
eternal learning

Chrismas Angel
Flying through solstice
delivering
baby suns
into stockings
hung from the World Tree

life unfolding
in the moment past
despair
as the sacrifice forms
new revelations
always there

shapes emerge from life's mist
amidst shadows and light unending
always condensing until
it bursts into brightness
to be shared
to birth
new light
before receding
and condensing,
coalescing
once more

sphere of creation
coiling up
one itself
ever united with itself
inside the center
of being
one
as
all
with
all
submersed,
emersed
in all

ritual
baptism
reinforcing
the union
with mother ocean
as metaphor
for all life

I no longer see the darkness in this moment

now to move
now to go
now to stop
now to rest
now to move
now to go
now to stop
now to rest
now to move
now to go
now to stop
now to rest

binary code
beats rythmic
patterns
like beads
on a bracelet

life combines
om minus
sounding ominus

moin
is negative
or less
en francais
om
is
nothing

association
travel along the path of words
and wander
on syllabic paws
to the place
inside

logical
conclusions
as
ideological logic
or logical ideals...?

interstellar travel
on the path of
words
sacred words
sacred symbols
sacred keys
to our growth

assymetric
or just a helping hand
a comfort
like a memory
made real
we keep the memory alive
and it becomes real
in the way we need
to learn
and grow
and continue

conjoined faith
22 major arcana
how many chromosome pairs are there?
wouldn't it be fun
to try and match the pairs
with the major arcana?
more detailed reflective possibility
there are 23 pairs
22 plus the gender pair
interesting pair:

"Only men carry a Y chromosome. Females have two X chromosomes, whereas males have one X and one Y. And, unlike the 22 pairs of non-sex chromosomes each human has, there is almost no opportunity for the Y chromosome to swap or share its DNA with another chromosome. So all the information in a man's Y chromosome is passed to his son -- and every man's Y chromosome carries a virtual pedigree of his male family history." http://newservice.stanford.edu/news/2000/november8/chromosome-1108.html

Excellent article--lots of good stuff on the history of human migration as
told by our DNA.

The Foolish Man
knowing nothing
stands at the beginning
zero
the nothing state
gateway to the divine
infinite potential

The Magician
power
to bring truth
and beauty
into being
loving light
shines from his wand
dispelling shadowy illusions

The High Priestess
sits with harp
and horned
ceremonial
helm...

Shane and I were just chatting about the Jewish Diaspora and the bloodline of Christ. He was telling me about the the role of the Knights Templar in protecting the bloodline--he learned of them through learning Gnosticism and the history of the Cathars in France and Spain. (One of my favorite intros into historical Jesus from the line of King David was "Jesus and the Riddle of the Dead Sea Scrolls.")

Who is the Empress?
(number three)
Phoenix rising
from lotus flames
of life
just and wise
experience and love
allow the feminine divine
to light the way
she is the sacredmother
nature's throne
whose authority
rises to balance
inspiration
with
guidance

Be the Emperess
of the healing circle
of life
of light
Be the holy mother

Princess of Wands
Queen of Pentacles
Incarnations

Knight of Wands
hero
Lord of Flame and Lightening
astride a horse
a burning staff

And what is the Empire?
the empire is the in power
of love and light
and infinite potential
within the universe
that is you
within the universe